Why Father Dara?

Some of you may be wondering why I have chosen to be called Father Dara instead of Mother Dara, Reverend Dara, or simply Dara. The reason is two-fold. Firstly, I am on my way to becoming a Military Chaplain. As part of my formation for this role, the military requires that I serve for two years in a civilian parish, learning the ins and outs of “ministry”. Chaplains in the military have long been affectionately called Padre, which translates to Father, and so choosing to be called Father Dara is a natural outcome of what people call me when I am in my military uniform.

Secondly, discussions about God and gender took on a new life in feminism’s Second Wave, from the 1960s to the 1980s. Clergy have been called “Father” since St. Paul’s letters were sent to the churches across the ancient world, long before they were compiled in the New Testament. Priests are called this because they serve as spiritual parents to their congregation, training and forming them in the faith of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. In the Catholic Church, priests cannot marry and therefore can’t have children (although there have been some renegade popes, cardinals, and bishops throughout history); as such, their role has been to serve and grow the church as though it is full of their own children. To which I find that Father is an acceptable title. The tradition of calling priests Father predates the ordination of women, and although some women were given the honorific of Mother, this was reserved only for women who were leaders of religious communities of women. Relating to one’s spiritual parent, as Father has created a legacy of viewing God solely from a masculine perspective. Within the Second Wave, feminist theorists attempted to bring balance to this perspective by reintroducing feminine language for God. Many of them relied on the images and writings of the 14th and 15th-century mystics, such as Julian of Norwich, who invokes the idea of God as Mother, as well as language from Scripture that paints Jesus as a mother hen, and God as the caretaker of the nation of Israel when it was in its infancy.

I know that the issues of God and gender are complex, but I believe this topic deserves our attention as we navigate how to be Christians and how to be God’s Church in a watching world during our current cultural moment. A moment where we are discovering that much is toxic about a masculinity that is steeped in power and domination. Choosing the title Father is my way of contributing to this long-standing conversation about what happens when we only view God and spiritual leadership through the lens of traditional masculinity.